After all of this thinking about word of the year, I don't exactly have the one that I want. But the lovely and talented PL gave me this idea. She highly recommends the phrases "I am here" or "This is where I am".
These phrases have the advantage of bringing in the positive aspects of the "Here. This. Now." thing I'm looking for without any of the negatives that come with several of the words that I've tried. Not quite as aspirational as I usually go for, but this year - with Dylan graduating and the expansion plans for the business - would be a good time to practice being very present and aware.
The interesting thing about "I Am Here" is that it reminds me of those mall maps. You know, the ones with the little red dots and the "You are Here" label? The whole point of knowing where you are is to get where you want to go. So, maybe - just maybe - being really well aware of where I am can help me get to where I want to be.
I am here. This is where I am. 2010 should be an interesting time.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Brainstorming - Word of the Year
Back again after a long hiatus. It has been a busy time, with some fruitfulness and a fair amount of fretfulness. To be honest, it feels like 2009 has spiraled far, far away from any intentions that I might have had for it. Part of the problem is that I began the year exhausted and soul weary from a number of years of ill fitting work, so I intended very little. And, of course, there were any number of events that allowed me ample excuse for sidetracking - both good and bad. I know that there will be more to come in 2010, so I'm thinking and planning and attending to my own little brain garden to prepare for the year to come.
I've never been a fan of resolutions, so I'm adopting Christine Kane's "Word of the Year" idea. The plan is to adopt a single quality as a point of focus for 2010. While there is a fair amount of the "intention" process that seems suspicious to me, I can see ways to make this idea work for me.
The problem, of course, is the word. I'm looking at 2 ideas at the moment, and will probably have a few more before I settle on anything. I'm just putting this out to all of you to see what comes to mind.
1: Sovereign, sovereignty, drive. These all started with Havi Brooks' posts on the CEO with Stripey Socks (part 1 and part 2) where she realized that (my paraphrase) she needed to stand in her own light and ask for what she needs but do it in a way that doesn't diminish others' right to do the same. There are a lot of connotations to "sovereign" that I resist. I spent some time in Merriam-Websters and found a lot that I did like, as well - especially the adjectives superlative, curative and unqualified. It may be that I just don't like the authoritative aspect of the word - but then again - I'll be 40 this year. Seriously, shouldn't I deal with that sometime? Drive is my possible modification to this idea - because my car has always represented autonomy and "me-ness" and also (I really hate to admit this) the Incubus song. What can I say, it was on the radio while I was thinking about this....
2: This one is newer, so less formed. It seems that one of the key things I've lost is what Ms. AW used to call my "childlike sense of wonder". I had an eye for beauty and loveliness that colored even the most dull days. Now, I can only sense things that way sporadically and often go for weeks without realizing that is gone. That one trait has often kept me from sliding irrevocably into the many abysses that I've explored, so I think that would be a good focus as well. The con with this idea is that I can't come up with anything that doesn't sound passive to me - which puts it in opposition to the "CEO in Rocket Dogs" (Havi has stripey socks, but I have Rocket Dogs!) idea.
Possible words for that one: wonderment, beauty, loveliness.
So, I'm open to suggestions, ideas, theories and general discussion. All of you that I speak to regularly will be roped into this on the phone as well, so be prepared! And, if you're thinking about a word for your year, what will it be? Why?
I've never been a fan of resolutions, so I'm adopting Christine Kane's "Word of the Year" idea. The plan is to adopt a single quality as a point of focus for 2010. While there is a fair amount of the "intention" process that seems suspicious to me, I can see ways to make this idea work for me.
The problem, of course, is the word. I'm looking at 2 ideas at the moment, and will probably have a few more before I settle on anything. I'm just putting this out to all of you to see what comes to mind.
1: Sovereign, sovereignty, drive. These all started with Havi Brooks' posts on the CEO with Stripey Socks (part 1 and part 2) where she realized that (my paraphrase) she needed to stand in her own light and ask for what she needs but do it in a way that doesn't diminish others' right to do the same. There are a lot of connotations to "sovereign" that I resist. I spent some time in Merriam-Websters and found a lot that I did like, as well - especially the adjectives superlative, curative and unqualified. It may be that I just don't like the authoritative aspect of the word - but then again - I'll be 40 this year. Seriously, shouldn't I deal with that sometime? Drive is my possible modification to this idea - because my car has always represented autonomy and "me-ness" and also (I really hate to admit this) the Incubus song. What can I say, it was on the radio while I was thinking about this....
2: This one is newer, so less formed. It seems that one of the key things I've lost is what Ms. AW used to call my "childlike sense of wonder". I had an eye for beauty and loveliness that colored even the most dull days. Now, I can only sense things that way sporadically and often go for weeks without realizing that is gone. That one trait has often kept me from sliding irrevocably into the many abysses that I've explored, so I think that would be a good focus as well. The con with this idea is that I can't come up with anything that doesn't sound passive to me - which puts it in opposition to the "CEO in Rocket Dogs" (Havi has stripey socks, but I have Rocket Dogs!) idea.
Possible words for that one: wonderment, beauty, loveliness.
So, I'm open to suggestions, ideas, theories and general discussion. All of you that I speak to regularly will be roped into this on the phone as well, so be prepared! And, if you're thinking about a word for your year, what will it be? Why?
Friday, October 9, 2009
Joy!
When last you heard from me, I thought that I was at a culmination point - where everything that had happened over the last few months was coming together and pouring me out into a new place. And WOW! was I right. In fact, I have so much exciting stuff to do today that I almost didn't stop to blog. But you know how I get when that lovely fall (and spring) light starts to happen, so I thought I'd at least get you a couple of pictures!
I have 4 of these on my kitchen table right now. I figured $3 for random loveliness is a pretty good deal.
And this, my happy, happy beta testers, is something that will have you thanking my herbal teacher. This is the base oil for a new series of lip treatments. Alkanet root makes it red, but the calendula makes this smell a little sweet and feel like silk. Yum!
So, now I'm off to do some work. I have to say that the other side of the seesaw is crazy busy, but I'm enjoying it so far. I've got today's second batch herbal tea brewing (this is a much more involved process with whole herbs but gives us something that is medicinally active with lots of minerals and still tastes good enough to just drink), and the farmers market vegetables washed and drying, and Oxti's critters taken care of. But I still need to sort out how to get George's CD cover art onto large envelopes (my printer is not wide enough!), and get a batch or two of lip and eye treatments done (yes, Ommi, I will be sending you a new eye glide soon) before hopefully heading out to the downtown Mesa 2nd Friday festivities. (This week is Oktoberfest - in a city that is almost half Mormon.... Methinks that the neighborhood is changing!) And lunch. Lunch would be a good plan, don't ya think?
I have 4 of these on my kitchen table right now. I figured $3 for random loveliness is a pretty good deal.
And this, my happy, happy beta testers, is something that will have you thanking my herbal teacher. This is the base oil for a new series of lip treatments. Alkanet root makes it red, but the calendula makes this smell a little sweet and feel like silk. Yum!So, now I'm off to do some work. I have to say that the other side of the seesaw is crazy busy, but I'm enjoying it so far. I've got today's second batch herbal tea brewing (this is a much more involved process with whole herbs but gives us something that is medicinally active with lots of minerals and still tastes good enough to just drink), and the farmers market vegetables washed and drying, and Oxti's critters taken care of. But I still need to sort out how to get George's CD cover art onto large envelopes (my printer is not wide enough!), and get a batch or two of lip and eye treatments done (yes, Ommi, I will be sending you a new eye glide soon) before hopefully heading out to the downtown Mesa 2nd Friday festivities. (This week is Oktoberfest - in a city that is almost half Mormon.... Methinks that the neighborhood is changing!) And lunch. Lunch would be a good plan, don't ya think?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Tippng Points
Quick note: I didn't write this as a blog post. It is long, rambling, unedited and the result of insomnia in a hotel room with a sleeping husband. But it is exactly the kind of thing that I will decide not to post if I wait until tomorrow, so I'm posting it before I can change my mind. If you plan to read it, make sure you have a little bit of time! :)
Looking back, it always seems like there was some short period of time where everything changes, even when I know that it didn’t actually work that way. There is something in my brain that wants to wrap it all up in a nice package and say “This time. This is when it happened." In a month, or a year - or maybe even next week - I’ll tell you that it all happened this week – the week that Oxti got married. But tonight, before I put a frame on it and hang it on the wall, I have a chance of telling the whole story. You know that I have to give it a shot.
My 38th year played like an emotional version of the X Games – not just for me but for so many of those that I have in my life. My baby boy walked through his self created version of hell – and is only starting to come out the other side. HTH and I went with him - and not in the way that we would have hoped. We each had our own demons to fight and none of us came to terms with our own issues, or each others, quickly or easily.
Ours felt like an extreme case, of course, because it happened to me. But the emotional X Games happened all over this year for so many others – some stories that I know and some that I will never hear. One country song tells you that you’re going through a “burning ring of fire” and another one says that it’s just a “common case of everyday reality”. They are both right. My story isn’t all that special, but I can tell it because it is mine.
The fact of the matter is that I let myself get lost. The path of least resistance always had something to do with what I thought someone else wanted from me. It’s a bad habit, I know. I get better about quitting it every day, but it is my personal poppy field - a deadly comfort zone when I’m weary of working out my own direction.
I was in my own world for much of early 2009 trying to de-convolute my brain from my latest experiment in cultural assimilation. (It was a corporate culture this time and I can’t recommend it.) But while I was busy being lost in my head, a lot happened in the outside world. I won’t pretend that sorting myself out more quickly could have changed a single thing that happened for anyone else; part of me wants to believe that but there is no way that I can ever know and the ‘what ifs’ can get pretty treacherous. But my obliviousness did set me up quite nicely to be blindsided and I allowed that shock to put me into a crazy tail spin. As hard as it is to say, inevitability and powerlessness can start to look quite lovely to me in the wrong sort of light. After all, I can’t really be expected to try in the face of forces beyond my control.
The lesson I learned again this year is the difference between control and influence. I got so tired of giving corporate examples of “influencing without authority” that I decided to retire from influencing my own world. You can try to imagine what that looks and feels like if you want, but I hope that you can’t do it. Quite frankly, I hope that I won’t be able to remember what it was like in a year or two. But at the end of July – yes, just before my birthday – I recalled myself to active duty. I began to attend to the business of my life again. Today, 6 weeks later, I believe that in doing that I began to touch the worlds of my own family in a positive way again.
I am not writing this from the end of the story. Believe me when I tell you that I have not yet fully recovered my self from my dis-ease. I am still finding my own direction and trying to understand how I can weave all of my strands back into a stable, coherent pattern. And despite the fact that, someday in the future, I will probably tell you that this week was the tipping point I have no idea what the other side of the seesaw looks like yet.
But here is what I do know. This week, my son took some very adult ideas and chose to act on them - and did it with a level of personal commitment and integrity that I could never have managed at 17. This week, I taught some others what I’m learning about taking care of myself. This week, I acted as a musician’s manager. This week, my husband and I took some time off – from the business and the craziness of this last year – and just had fun. And this week, my sister officially added a brother to my family. And the really crazy thing is this – it’s only Friday. I wonder what will happen tomorrow?
Looking back, it always seems like there was some short period of time where everything changes, even when I know that it didn’t actually work that way. There is something in my brain that wants to wrap it all up in a nice package and say “This time. This is when it happened." In a month, or a year - or maybe even next week - I’ll tell you that it all happened this week – the week that Oxti got married. But tonight, before I put a frame on it and hang it on the wall, I have a chance of telling the whole story. You know that I have to give it a shot.
My 38th year played like an emotional version of the X Games – not just for me but for so many of those that I have in my life. My baby boy walked through his self created version of hell – and is only starting to come out the other side. HTH and I went with him - and not in the way that we would have hoped. We each had our own demons to fight and none of us came to terms with our own issues, or each others, quickly or easily.
Ours felt like an extreme case, of course, because it happened to me. But the emotional X Games happened all over this year for so many others – some stories that I know and some that I will never hear. One country song tells you that you’re going through a “burning ring of fire” and another one says that it’s just a “common case of everyday reality”. They are both right. My story isn’t all that special, but I can tell it because it is mine.
The fact of the matter is that I let myself get lost. The path of least resistance always had something to do with what I thought someone else wanted from me. It’s a bad habit, I know. I get better about quitting it every day, but it is my personal poppy field - a deadly comfort zone when I’m weary of working out my own direction.
I was in my own world for much of early 2009 trying to de-convolute my brain from my latest experiment in cultural assimilation. (It was a corporate culture this time and I can’t recommend it.) But while I was busy being lost in my head, a lot happened in the outside world. I won’t pretend that sorting myself out more quickly could have changed a single thing that happened for anyone else; part of me wants to believe that but there is no way that I can ever know and the ‘what ifs’ can get pretty treacherous. But my obliviousness did set me up quite nicely to be blindsided and I allowed that shock to put me into a crazy tail spin. As hard as it is to say, inevitability and powerlessness can start to look quite lovely to me in the wrong sort of light. After all, I can’t really be expected to try in the face of forces beyond my control.
The lesson I learned again this year is the difference between control and influence. I got so tired of giving corporate examples of “influencing without authority” that I decided to retire from influencing my own world. You can try to imagine what that looks and feels like if you want, but I hope that you can’t do it. Quite frankly, I hope that I won’t be able to remember what it was like in a year or two. But at the end of July – yes, just before my birthday – I recalled myself to active duty. I began to attend to the business of my life again. Today, 6 weeks later, I believe that in doing that I began to touch the worlds of my own family in a positive way again.
I am not writing this from the end of the story. Believe me when I tell you that I have not yet fully recovered my self from my dis-ease. I am still finding my own direction and trying to understand how I can weave all of my strands back into a stable, coherent pattern. And despite the fact that, someday in the future, I will probably tell you that this week was the tipping point I have no idea what the other side of the seesaw looks like yet.
But here is what I do know. This week, my son took some very adult ideas and chose to act on them - and did it with a level of personal commitment and integrity that I could never have managed at 17. This week, I taught some others what I’m learning about taking care of myself. This week, I acted as a musician’s manager. This week, my husband and I took some time off – from the business and the craziness of this last year – and just had fun. And this week, my sister officially added a brother to my family. And the really crazy thing is this – it’s only Friday. I wonder what will happen tomorrow?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Friday check in: the what's new edition
Yay! It's fall! Maybe it is a desert child thing who has - once again - survived the summer. Or maybe it is just that my mid-August birthday usually results in my version of New Years resolutions that start in September. Or maybe it is left over new school year love? (OK, that one doesn't seem too terribly likely.) Regardless, it is now fall and time for new things. So, this week's check in is all about the new of the week.
New plants:
I planted some garden sage in the front yard where one of my lavender plants used to be and put a smaller one in the back bed.
I transplanted a few tiny lemon balm plants and 2 cayenne pepper plants.
And - TA-DA! - my garlic bulbs arrived! For some of you in La, that means that I will be bringing garlic cloves next weekend for you to plant as well.
New herb stuff:
I've got 3 immune system tinctures brewing away. They'll be ready in 2 weeks, which should be in plenty of time for cold and flu season. The 3 actually work for 3 different stages of colds/flus- one as an immune nourish-er for pre-sickness, one as a "stop it early in the exposure" immune stimulant and one as a "you feel it in your bones" immune rescuer - so there is a chance that I might need all 3. I may not need any this year (I hope!) but tinctures last for years, so it isn't a problem to have them ready in advance.
On the tea front I'm still drinking 3 cups of a detox blend that I keep in the fridge. I've learned that skin problems are almost always related to liver overload, so despite the advent of fall allergy season, I only have the slightest hint of my normal fall eczema.
I've switched Colin's normal green tea to a whole herb "Green Tea plus" blend. The up side is that it tastes great while having all kinds of immunity and cardiovascular system building herbs in it. The bad news is that it isn't tea bags - which he has no problem rebrewing at a moments notice for himself if he runs out. If I use the herbs to their full effect, it takes about 8 hours to make the full gallon at medicinal strength. So I brew a new gallon as soon as I see the previous one hitting the half way mark, just so he will always have the good stuff when he needs it.
I also have a St Johns Wort/dandelion blend in the fridge. St Johns is, of course, known as mood elevator, but it is also a powerful anti-viral and expectorant. And dandelion has a TON of minerals and vitamins in it. I've still got a bit of a lingering cold, so I drink a bit of that everyday. It is the worst tasting mix that I've made - ever. (Kathy says its important to taste everything yourself so you know before you tell people what to take. I can see why!) But it works really well for me.
In related "what's new" herbal news, my son D2 decided that he wants to go see the herbalist to work on his adrenaline/panic attacks. Our visit to the Dr. on the subject confirmed that the problem was not thyroid related or physically related to any heart problems. I gave him several options and he wanted to go this route. He even filled out the 6 page medical history that was the pre-requisite for making an appointment. He'll spend 2 hours with Kathy on Wednesday next week - in addition to the hour she spent talking with me about this yesterday. It feels strange to see such a clear indication of adult behavior from my kiddo - that he wants to do something about this and is taking a path that will require so much from him but has a great change of working for him. And, for me, between the progress report (3 As and 1 B) and this, I'm feeling even more hopeful about where D2 is heading.
And that is what is new for me this week. Friday, Friday, Friday!
New plants:
I planted some garden sage in the front yard where one of my lavender plants used to be and put a smaller one in the back bed.
I transplanted a few tiny lemon balm plants and 2 cayenne pepper plants.
And - TA-DA! - my garlic bulbs arrived! For some of you in La, that means that I will be bringing garlic cloves next weekend for you to plant as well.
New herb stuff:
I've got 3 immune system tinctures brewing away. They'll be ready in 2 weeks, which should be in plenty of time for cold and flu season. The 3 actually work for 3 different stages of colds/flus- one as an immune nourish-er for pre-sickness, one as a "stop it early in the exposure" immune stimulant and one as a "you feel it in your bones" immune rescuer - so there is a chance that I might need all 3. I may not need any this year (I hope!) but tinctures last for years, so it isn't a problem to have them ready in advance.
On the tea front I'm still drinking 3 cups of a detox blend that I keep in the fridge. I've learned that skin problems are almost always related to liver overload, so despite the advent of fall allergy season, I only have the slightest hint of my normal fall eczema.
I've switched Colin's normal green tea to a whole herb "Green Tea plus" blend. The up side is that it tastes great while having all kinds of immunity and cardiovascular system building herbs in it. The bad news is that it isn't tea bags - which he has no problem rebrewing at a moments notice for himself if he runs out. If I use the herbs to their full effect, it takes about 8 hours to make the full gallon at medicinal strength. So I brew a new gallon as soon as I see the previous one hitting the half way mark, just so he will always have the good stuff when he needs it.
I also have a St Johns Wort/dandelion blend in the fridge. St Johns is, of course, known as mood elevator, but it is also a powerful anti-viral and expectorant. And dandelion has a TON of minerals and vitamins in it. I've still got a bit of a lingering cold, so I drink a bit of that everyday. It is the worst tasting mix that I've made - ever. (Kathy says its important to taste everything yourself so you know before you tell people what to take. I can see why!) But it works really well for me.
In related "what's new" herbal news, my son D2 decided that he wants to go see the herbalist to work on his adrenaline/panic attacks. Our visit to the Dr. on the subject confirmed that the problem was not thyroid related or physically related to any heart problems. I gave him several options and he wanted to go this route. He even filled out the 6 page medical history that was the pre-requisite for making an appointment. He'll spend 2 hours with Kathy on Wednesday next week - in addition to the hour she spent talking with me about this yesterday. It feels strange to see such a clear indication of adult behavior from my kiddo - that he wants to do something about this and is taking a path that will require so much from him but has a great change of working for him. And, for me, between the progress report (3 As and 1 B) and this, I'm feeling even more hopeful about where D2 is heading.
And that is what is new for me this week. Friday, Friday, Friday!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Things I learned in my 1st herbal medicine class
As most of you know, I've been doing a fair amount of research on herbs and natural remedies over the last year or so. Several of you have perfume rollers in your purse that are full of rosemary infused oil as first aid for cuts, scrapes and scratches because - as we all now know - rosemary is a natural antimicrobial that grows well in the desert!
I knew enough to be sure that I didn't know nearly enough. But I also knew that there were a lot of people out that that claimed to be good at herbal medicine that said things that didn't make sense to me. I signed up for this herbal medicine class after attending a free seminar that Kathleen offered. I thought that she would be a good teacher for me - both in approach and communication style. But, seriously folks. I had NO IDEA how cool this would really be!
Now, I should say up front that I won't be putting any herbal recipes here. But I learned a few very practical concepts in the class that I would like to share because it is all just so fascinating.
So, first things first. If you want to use herbs for medicinal purposes, the dried ones should look very close to the way they look as plants. Calendula? Should have the color of marigold flowers. Hibiscus? It better be red! Leaves of any kind? Green, ya'll, not brown. Now that all seems logical, but I never really thought about why is was important. It matters because the plants' volatile oils provide the real medicinal punch. The closer the dried plant looks to fresh, the more of those oils are still present.
Also, as a side note - did you ever wonder why most tea bag medicinal teas don't seem to do much of what they claim? That is because the herbs are diced very finely to fit in the tea bag. That means that there is a much higher surface area to volume ratio - so the oils can evaporate more quickly. Unless the tea bags are stored inside sealed single serving pouches (like some brands do) it isn't likely that those oils hand around for long!
So, that - along with smelling and looking at a variety of herbs - was the introduction to herbalism.
The first body system that we studied was the digestive system. Wanna know why? Believe me, you really do! Anything that is ingested is designed to be absorbed in particular parts of the digestive system. This isn't news, right? I mean, we all studied the way saliva acts on carbohydrates or stomach acids on proteins. But there is another part to this. Pharmaceuticals act the same way. Capsules are designed to introduce medicines through the small intestine and pills mostly break down in the stomach ... IF and only if, your digestive system is working properly. It doesn't matter if you are trying to get nutrients from foods, vitamins and minerals from a supplement, or medicine from ANY source, you won't get the full effect unless your digestion is up to par.
Those were the two general principles that I was taught in the first class. Since I love getting the big picture first so that I can decide how to prioritize things, you know that this is a great class for me. And, just for the record, I currently have 2 different types of medicinal teas in my fridge as well as a batch that I'm sending over to Oxti's house. I can only imagine what I'll be doing after Wednesday - after we study the liver and learn how to make tinctures!
I knew enough to be sure that I didn't know nearly enough. But I also knew that there were a lot of people out that that claimed to be good at herbal medicine that said things that didn't make sense to me. I signed up for this herbal medicine class after attending a free seminar that Kathleen offered. I thought that she would be a good teacher for me - both in approach and communication style. But, seriously folks. I had NO IDEA how cool this would really be!
Now, I should say up front that I won't be putting any herbal recipes here. But I learned a few very practical concepts in the class that I would like to share because it is all just so fascinating.
So, first things first. If you want to use herbs for medicinal purposes, the dried ones should look very close to the way they look as plants. Calendula? Should have the color of marigold flowers. Hibiscus? It better be red! Leaves of any kind? Green, ya'll, not brown. Now that all seems logical, but I never really thought about why is was important. It matters because the plants' volatile oils provide the real medicinal punch. The closer the dried plant looks to fresh, the more of those oils are still present.
Also, as a side note - did you ever wonder why most tea bag medicinal teas don't seem to do much of what they claim? That is because the herbs are diced very finely to fit in the tea bag. That means that there is a much higher surface area to volume ratio - so the oils can evaporate more quickly. Unless the tea bags are stored inside sealed single serving pouches (like some brands do) it isn't likely that those oils hand around for long!
So, that - along with smelling and looking at a variety of herbs - was the introduction to herbalism.
The first body system that we studied was the digestive system. Wanna know why? Believe me, you really do! Anything that is ingested is designed to be absorbed in particular parts of the digestive system. This isn't news, right? I mean, we all studied the way saliva acts on carbohydrates or stomach acids on proteins. But there is another part to this. Pharmaceuticals act the same way. Capsules are designed to introduce medicines through the small intestine and pills mostly break down in the stomach ... IF and only if, your digestive system is working properly. It doesn't matter if you are trying to get nutrients from foods, vitamins and minerals from a supplement, or medicine from ANY source, you won't get the full effect unless your digestion is up to par.
Those were the two general principles that I was taught in the first class. Since I love getting the big picture first so that I can decide how to prioritize things, you know that this is a great class for me. And, just for the record, I currently have 2 different types of medicinal teas in my fridge as well as a batch that I'm sending over to Oxti's house. I can only imagine what I'll be doing after Wednesday - after we study the liver and learn how to make tinctures!
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