HTR and the central self

As you can tell, from the recent lack of posting and the most recent Bunny Days post, I'm in a bit of an odd place. Bunny Days, for me, are a clear indicator that I am not settled or, more precisely, not centered. I've been running through some ideas about why this might be the case. My tentative theory is this: I've been so focused on efficiency (doing things right) that I've lost my perspective on effectiveness (doing the right things).

Take a look at HTR. The focus to date has been freeing myself "from" silly HAVE TOs. While that has been extremely valuable, it is really only the first step. The next step is understanding what I have freed myself up "to" do. I have very efficiently worked myself into a position that I have time to consider what I should be doing to be effective. I have a lot of experience with efficiency, so this has been fairly simple for me.

I have a lot of experience with identifying effective use of my time as well - but only in a business context. In the business world, there are very clear goals and objectives. The company, followed by the businesses within the company, followed by the units, departments and groups nested within each larger organization, establishes a direction and intention. As a fixer, I design my work efforts and products to support those goals. It is just a matter of alignment, really, or occasionally sorting.

In my personal life, I use the same approach for short term goals - as you have seen during HTR - but I have not been able to pull this off for long term (>1 year) goals. In fact, I can't even seem to consider long term goals. I have come to the startling conclusion that I have no idea what I really want to do in the big picture, strategic sense of the word. And I suspect that this is largely due to a complete and utter lack understanding of my "central self". So, for the next few days or weeks or months, I will be researching ways to differentiate between my central and calculated selves. To be honest, I'm not sure how - or even if - this will work, but I know that I have to try. Otherwise, I'll keep driving myself crazy with Bunny Days and vague dissatisfaction and talking continuously to all of you about the same. How boring would THAT be?